Dear Diary

My Mind is racing today so I will just vent up and get it all before I go wear myself out with the Hitachi magic wand. I could use good release

I really can't stand woman who try's on clothes at stores. Then come out to get approval from a boyfriend or husband. Seriously get a life, if you can't pick out a shirt at the mall. Please stay home. I would also never date the guy whom stands outside and waits. I want to slap your face and tell you to wake up.

So everyone knows what pajamas are, I am telling you, please don't wear them to the supermarket or the bank. How lazy can you be to wear them with boots and flip flops. If your not going to bed or to a hospital. Why not get dressed before going out of the house.

Why is that I always see people having sex in cars in porn. They always seem to fit with no problem, I have actually never have sex in a cars cause I like room to move around. I rather fuck in a limo.

I saw this commercial for a new pill that makes your cock last longer and increase size. I don't care if your a porn star or pizza delivery guy. You should take this pill and tell me if it works. Every girl loves longer and harder. I should buy stock in the company and get all my clients to buy the stuff.

So I addicted to playing Wii, I love it. I feel like I am very good at all the games. I think they should come with some dirty games for adults. How funny would it be learning to jack a cock using the Wii controllers.


Enjoy your Monday -- Kat ox

Dear Diary ...

I had a family wedding this past weekend . You  know it's a good wedding when you're wearing the brides gown at 2 a.m. in the hotel bar.

I love how many people said congratulations to me. They never noticed the dress wasn't even fitting right. I was also wearing pink beach flip flops with a bridal gown.   

I should have went home with some random hotel guest, acting like I just got married and was already cheating.  Too bad I thought of that when I woke up wearing a veil and snuggling with a bag of snacks.

A few months ago, I went to a wedding where a bridesmaid ended up having sex with the best man.  She got pregnant.  That gives a new term to shotgun wedding.

I always find it fun to hook up at weddings, but this time I hooked up with the open bar instead.  The hangover was worse then the walk of shame.


Luv Kat ox

Dear Diary,
 

In watching television and porn it just crossed my mind that it just gives you high expectations.

 

You're watching television and couples fall in love. The romance level is so high it makes you wonder why you're drinking red wine from Costco with a bag of cheese puffs. They are toasting with dom perignon, nibbling on strawberries on a bed of rose petals.

 

Then after my tv shows, I'm watching porn and girls are slobbering cock and begging you to invite buddies over to fill her up.  She's pounded so hard I thought she might break in two parts.

 

So, I'm all for love and sex but sometimes expecting what you're watching is not what you're going to get.

 

Make your own Fairy Tale

 

Happy Friday ox

Dear Diary,

New dating relationships remind me of a game of cat and mouse.  It's a contrived action involving constant pursuit, near captures, and repeated until one of you gets so tired that you just settle down. 

Sometimes you just have to shake your stuff till you get what you want then pull it away.  Keep things hot and you'll never settle.

My Chicago friends recently just went away with out me and no fun trouble happened on the trip.  No one hooked up, no one was that hungover and no hotel security. I just have to face the fact I am the reason this stuff might happens. I am just not sure how they lasted all week with me.  I would have been bored to death !

so make stuff happen this week !-- Kat ox

Dear Diary

I had my tarot cards and a palm reading in the some month, I am starting to feel like the Psychic Friends Network. It's fun and creepy to just sit there and listen to your life. I might be a little more freaked out that they said the same thing on both readings. Maybe I am sucker but some of the stuff really made sense.  I know they tell you general stuff and you just make it fit in your life.  Maybe I go my tea leaves or crystal ball reading next. I might has well get from all sides.

I got the most funniest message recently a guy offered to be my fuck buddy.  Does he really think I am lacking sex that much.  But wait does that stuff really even work.  You just say want to be fuck buddies and the other person says yes.   I might have to try this out.  I am pretty sure it comes with more questions then a simple yes or no.

One of my ex boyfriends from years ago calls and texts me all the time, it's usually just friendly talk but when I am drinking I toss in the sexual flirty texts here and there. The funny thing he is dating
a new girl now. I got to meet her this weekend. She was giving me the eye like I am her competition.  I wanted to say been there, done that-- He  is all yours.  But no worry  he will still text me tonight when your in his bed. Funny how girls just assume I want him back cause he wanted to meet up this weekend.

I had a super fun weekend and I wish the summer would slow down.  I feel like I have so much more I want to do and its now August.  My psychic told me to take a leap of faith.  To me that means just do what I want and see what happens. Dam she has no idea how much trouble that will cause me

Bring it on !

Love Kat ox